You Might Have a Todder If ...

Have a baby, they said.  It’ll be fun, they said.  What they didn’t say, is when that little baby becomes a toddler, you’re in for it Momma.  Don’t get me wrong, having a baby is very fun.  So is having a toddler, however, toddlerhood is proving to be a parental punch that you didn’t know was coming.

I’m no expert, but I’ve learned a thing or two these last 6 months about toddlers.  They have very distinct habits, and while I thought mine was special … I learned that most people encounter a lot of these same toddler moments.

So, if you’re on the fence about whether or not your child has hit toddlerhood, let me help you out.  I have created a list of moments that may help you decipher whether or not you’ve landed in the land of parenting a toddler.

You might have a Toddler if …

• If you can't carry on a conversation about what shows are all the rage, but if anyone mentions Paw Patrol, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, or Bubble Guppies you either bust out in the Hot Dog Dance or cheer, "Paw Patrol is on a roll!"

• If your living room looks like the aftermath of hurricane Katrina. Kudos to Moms who have it contained to a playroom. My next house will be fully equipped with one of those.

• If you've ever been fairly certain you've broken your foot stepping on some sort of plastic toy death trap.

• If you've learned the hard way to watch your mouth because little mouths are on repeat.  And for the sake of them forgetting that word, don't laugh!  Laughing only feeds the repeat. Just ask my toddler whose new favorite word contains three letters followed by hole. Uh, whoops.

• If it feels weird when you don't have an audience when you're going to the bathroom, which may also double as a two minute vacation.

• If giving your child a bath also doubles as mopping the bathroom floor because there is more tub water on the floor than in the actual tub.

• If you thank your stars you never majored in Law because dinner time has proven that your negotiation skills aren't that great.

• Also, if those poor negotiation skills lead to your child surviving on fruit, chicken nuggets, hotdogs, and Cheerios.

• If you could be rich if you received a Nickel for every time the words, “That does not go in your mouth!” have left your lips.  Also, the word, “No!”

• If you have artwork that isn’t limited to paper, maybe it’s on a wall, piece of furniture, or the floor.

• If diaper changes become much like the sport of wrangling a bull.

• If your wipes are crumbled and shoved back into their case because your child took them out one by one and threw them around the living room. And let's face it, you're not about wasting money, so those babies got crammed right back where they belong.

• If nap time feels like a vacation. Coincidentally, it also happens to be the fastest 2 hours of your life.

• If you often find yourself driving aimlessly or sitting in your car social media'ing until your fingers fall off because if there is one time your child will sleep, it's when you’re on your way to run an errand or something that involves getting out of the car. And because you've probably learned your lesson once before, you will sit in your car and let that child nap it out.

• If getting your toddler to sleep is more rigorous than any workout you could ever do.  Thankfully, this "workout" isn't frowned upon when it’s followed up with wine.

• If you and your significant other find yourselves clinging to the edge of your bed for dear life because your 3ft toddler can take up the entire King Size bed by themselves.

And finally, If despite all these things, at the end of the day you creepily stare at them sleeping because you don’t know how you’ve created something so spastically wonderful.

You my friend, have yourself a toddler.

Tell me, what are some things your Toddler does?