Weaning Woes

I'm sure you all have heard my Breastfeeding Story about a thousand times by now, but in case you haven't, here is a little recap.  I had a hard time in the beginning, my milk dropped late due to an emergency C-Section.  You can read about that here.  Once the milk was flowing, I was having depressive emotions and would cry every time my milk would drop.  I later discovered this was actually a condition called D-MER.  I almost quit, but kept pushing through and ended up breastfeeding for an entire year.

My original goal when I was pregnant was to breastfeed for 6 months and by that point have enough milk stashed to continue provide breastmilk while no longer nursing.  Boy, did that plan go to the crap chute!  Ladies, if I can offer one piece of unsolicited advice, it is to keep an open mind because ANYTHING can happen!  This goes from labor, to delivery, to breastfeeding, everything!  It's great to fight for your "plan" but do not be upset when you have to deviate from it.  It happens to the best of us!

After Mykenzi's 1st Birthday I decided it was time to wean.  Before all the "you don't decide to wean, the baby does" nay-sayers jump in, there were a few reasons I came to this decision.

1. Team Effort. My child was less and less interested in nursing with table food and sippy cups around.  So, the decision was mutual and sadly, she didn't bat an eyelash when we stopped.

2. Supply & Demand. My supply was dwindling, and fighting to keep it up was hard when there was no demand for it.

3. For the Love of Fashion.  This might be my most selfish reason.  Last Fall/Winter I had to make sure I had easy access to nurse, which kept me from bundling too much, and left me very cold!  This year, I wanted to be able two wear sweaters that don't unbutton, scarves, and to be able to layer things under each other.  I had given it my all for an entire year and for us, that was enough.

The process was slow and steady.  I slowly weaned one side and then the other and things progressed pretty naturally.  I'm the only one who shed tears.  There was hardly any engorgement and the dry up process was pretty quick, it helped that supply was low.

And then? And then the hormone sort-out began.  You know after you have a baby and your hormones have to settle? Leaving you feeling like you should be committed to the Looney Bin?  Yeah, it happens again after you're done Breastfeeding.  I would like to tell you it wasn't as intense as it was postpartum, but I think my husband would beg to differ.  I was able to prepare him ahead of time, so he was able to buckle up and hang on for the ride.

I didn't anticipate how sad I would be to no longer be breastfeeding, but at the same time it's liberating.  My body is mine again and Mykenzi is just as happy as can be.  I really hope that when we decide to have baby #2 that Breastfeeding goes a little different.  I hope that since I'll be more educated I can prevent any of the hardships I had to endure this go around, if not, I'm not sure I'll be able to hang on for an entire year again.  Breastfeeding is literally the HARDEST thing I have ever done as a Mom.